Star Magnolia
by neffititi
Summary: "After all, pain and pleasure are the same thing." Takes place after 3x10. Valkubus. Rate for M for some language and some content. No longer a one shot anymore. Author's note inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: After some thinking I decided to give it a shot to extend this to a 4-5 shots story maybe. Not so sure how it would go, but it would be Valkubus for sure. **

**The story takes place after 3x10, without the wanderer, or the rune bottle things (I'm not sure where the TV is going so I decide not to include them in my story).**

**I never actually wrote any angst/hurt/comfort stories before, so it is kinda new to me. Hope all valkubus shippers would enjoy it. Reviews are absolutely welcome!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, nor do I profit from it. If I did own the series, there would be a lot more valkubus!**

**Star Magnolia**

Just like she couldn't tell which drink has made her drunk, Tamsin couldn't remember how everything had happened. It could just be the parasite, or the ketsune, or in Brazenwood.

Or it could just be that night. The cold spring night with a bright yet pale full moon, with a hint of red in it. And all the star magnolia flowers shimmering in the silver moonlight.

Bo had already had too much drink when Tamsin dragged her out from the Dal's. She was practically charming every creature's pants off in the bar. Tamsin had to slap her before she started an orgy in her grandfather's place.

She stuffed her in her truck, and closed the door. The succubus was murmuring something with her eyes closed. Tamsin started the car, but instead of driving her home, she just stayed there with her back leaning to the seat.

_Why am I doing this?_ She asked herself. _I could just let her handle her break up on her own. _

The next thing she remembered was the succubus jumped on her. She grabbed her jacket collar and laid a kiss on her neck. It was rather a bite than a kiss. She felt the sting on her skin and realized that the succubus bit her. She wanted to shake her off but she felt her charm floating to her like flood when her hands slid under her shirt. She totally lost it when the succubus had slid her hand into her pants and tucked her fingers into her underwear.

It didn't take long before they just tore enough clothes off each other's body so they could have sex in her truck. The space in the truck had made the sex hard and painful. But neither of them cared. They ground against each other like two animals on heat. Tamsin slammed her hand on the horn button hard when she desperately wanted to grab something because of her higher than ever orgasm. Her screams were drowned in the loud honk.

Both were startled by the sound. As if the time had suddenly stopped, she saw the succubus on top of her. She saw the moonlight shined on her naked body, giving her skin a pearly gloss. She saw the star magnolia flowers outside the truck window, so perfect, as if they were made from silver.

She saw the pain in her eyes. The pain of losing someone she loved. The tears welled up in her eyes and started to drop like little blobs of mercury.

She hated that pain in her eyes. She hated that the human had such strong influence on her. She hated that the succubus had such strong influence on herself. She just hated it. She couldn't handle her anger, so she pushed the succubus against the door like an animal and started to suck her nipples. She bit them till the succubus trembled under her.

With her fingers she thrust her like she had never had sex before. She tasted her tears in her mouth, as bitter as it could ever be. She heard the succubus crying, begging and sobbing. She didn't know if she was in pain, or in pleasure, or both. She didn't stop.

She knew that the succubus was approaching her agonizing orgasm. She pressed her lips on hers, but the succubus turned her head away before they touched. Tamsin forced the kiss. She tasted her soft, sweet lips. Just like in Brazenwood. Just like when they were having the parasites inside them. Just like she had dreamt about every day and night.

She eventually pulled herself back. The succubus was gasping for air under her after her orgasm. Tamsin suddenly felt guilty, like she just took advantage of her. She cursed and pulled up her pants.

It ended awkwardly. Both put their clothes back on without saying anything.

Tamsin eventually drove Bo home. The succubus didn't look at her twice, or spoke to her. She just walked into the door and closed it. She paused for a second or two before she entered the door. Tamsin thought she was about to turn to her and say something, but she didn't.

Tamsin sat in the car. The cold early spring night had never irritated her like this before.

_Shit, fuck, fuck, shit!_ She cursed, and closed her eyes.

* * *

Days later, the succubus showed up at her apartment without notice. It was 3 in the morning, and Tamsin was drinking.

" We need to talk." Bo said.

Sitting on her couch, Bo had a drink in her hand but she was not drinking.

" Well then, talk." Tamsin said.

" Why did you kiss me in Brazenwood?" She asked.

" Gee, I thought it was just a one time thing." Tamsin shrugged, " Why are you so obsessed about it? Are you crawling back for more?"

" Why did you have sex with me?"

" What can I say? I failed to resist your charm. Plus, I wanted to see how good the sex is with a succubus, so I did." Tamsin leaned over and whispered to her ear, " To tell you the truth, I've had better."

" Why?" The succubus stared at her, with the same painful look in her eyes. And that just invoked the anger inside Tamsin like gasoline on fire.

" Jesus fucking Christ Bo. I don't know! Shit just happens!" Tamsin slammed her hand on the coffee table, " Shit! You tell me, why the fuck would one person kiss another person? Why the fuck would one person fuck another person?"

_Because I fucking have feelings for you!_ These words almost burst out from Tamsin's throat. She had to down herself a shot of vodka to swallow it back.

The succubus looked startled. After a long pause, she said:" I thought... I thought you hated me."

" Yes, I fucking hated you, and I still fucking do!" Tamsin walked to the door and opened it, " Now, please leave. It's 3 in the morning, and one of us has a actual job to do tomorrow."

She heard the succubus left, and she poured herself another drink.

She leaned back to the couch, to watch the waning moon outside the window. It reminded her the night they had sex. She saw the petals of the flower falling outside the window. It was just so beautiful, too beautiful that she wanted to burn them so she would not have to watch them whither in the sun. She remembered her tears when she orgasmed under her, the painful tears of pleasure.

_After all, pain and pleasure are the same thing._ Tamsin though, _They are just the same fucking thing._

Like the perfect full moon waned. Like the beautiful flowers scattered.

Like you love someone, and this someone just couldn't love you back.


	2. Chapter 2

The next time Tamsin spoke to Bo, was on the phone. She didn't expect a call from her at all, because they never called each other.

" ...help" Bo said on the phone. Her voice was vague. Tamsin could hardly hear her. Then the call just cut off.

Tamsin called her back, but she was not answering.

She had no choice but to go to her place.

The door was not locked. Tamsin saw the succubus curled up on the couch. Her abdomen was bleeding. It looked like a tear wound from some kind of fierce monsters.

Tamsin took a deep breath at the door, wondering if she should just leave. But eventually she walked to her. As much as she hated her, she never wanted her to die.

She knew exactly why Bo had called her. She promised Lauren she wouldn't feed off Dyson. And she knew unlike her and Dyson, nothing would ever happen between her and Tamsin.

That thought hurt, knowing someone would never love you. But Tamsin knew it was not the time to sort out the feelings and relationships crap right now.

She shook the brunette lightly, trying to wake her up.

The succubus was not responding. She was unconscious already.

Tamsin leaned over and pressed her lips on hers. She paused before their lips met. She was not sure if she should, because she couldn't help thinking about that night how Bo turned away from her. As much as she wanted to kiss her, she did not want to force her again.

But eventually her lips fell on Bo's. Her lips were soft and sweet, just like she remembered when she kissed her in Brazenwood. It sent a painful arousal through her body.

Energy flew through. Seconds later the succubus opened her eyes.

" Tamsin?" She murmured, looking confused. For a moment, Tamsin thought she was going to pull away, like that night she turned her head away to dodge the kiss.

But the succubus did not. She cupped her face and leaned over for a deeper kiss. She was practically sitting on her lap facing her with her legs around her waist. Tamsin could feel the burning heat from her body.

Bo pulled back to get some air. Her eyes were staring at Tamsin's lips. Then she lowered her head and kissed them again. This time, much softer and more playful. She nibbled them and licked them with her tongue. Then their tongues met.

Both of them were totally drowned in the kiss. It was way too intimate for a feeding kiss, and Bo was not even drawing energy. Seconds later they both realized that and pulled away.

They turned their heads so they wouldn't have to look at each other.

" Just feed, ok?" Tamsin told Bo.

Bo nodded and started to take her clothes off.

It was the most awkward and roughest sex Tamsin had ever had. It was like shoveling gourmet food down the throat of someone who was starving to death. The purpose of saving life totally overcame the pleasure of it.

But it did not mean there was no pleasure at all. It did not stop Tamsin from throwing her head back to hit the head board and fisting the sheets when she came. It did not stop Bo from sinking her teeth into the blonde's shoulder and her nails into her back when she reached her peak. It did not stop them thrusting each other and pressing their bodies against each other. It did not stop them from screaming, moaning or gasping.

Bo took much more energy than she needed. She unleashed her hunger on Tamsin and did not hold back at all. Eventually they both collapsed on the bed.

It was already dark outside when Tamsin opened her eyes. She realized that she fell asleep after the sex. She cursed and got up.

She saw the succubus lying beside her in her bed, with some covers on her waist. She was sleeping.

Tamsin sighed with a relief. She didn't know what to say to her if she was awake. She hunted her bra and underwear on the floor. Then she pulled up her jeans.

The sound of the zipper woke the brunette up.

" You leaving?" Bo asked with her sleepy voice.

" Well, my job here is done. Sleep tight." Tamsin said. She sat on the bed trying to put her boots on.

Bo sat up. She laid her index finger on the bite mark on Tamsin's shoulder.

" Sorry..." She said, " I didn't mean to..."

Tamsin was about to say something, but her body just stiffed. The succubus had laid a kiss on the mark. A soft, light but sweet kiss. She slowly ran her tongue on it. It hurt, at the same time, it aroused Tamsin. She could feel the breath of the succubus on her neck. She could feel her fingers running on the scratch marks on her back. She could feel the soft touch of hers.

Like a bullet through her heart, something exploded inside her. She felt this painful pleasure running through her veins, making her finger tips ache.

She had to pull herself away before she drowned in the succubus' touch.

" No worries. I'm no delicate human. I can handle some love marks from a succubus." Tamsin said. Her heart skipped a beat when the word _love_ had come out from her mouth.

" Thank you... for... emmm... saving my life." Bo said.

" Well, always happy to help everyone's favorite succubus." Tamsin said. Then she put her blouse on and walked out from the succubus' bedroom.

The old stairs was cracking under her feet. Then she saw Kenzi standing in the kitchen getting something out from the fridge.

Both were frozen when they saw each other. Neither of them had said anything for at least five minutes. Then Kenzi broke the silence.

" M-milk?"

" No, thanks." Tamsin smirked and walked out their den.


	3. Chapter 3

Things changed a little after their feeding sex. Tamsin became Bo's regular, in a way. Bo would text her when she was injured. They would have sex. Tamsin would leave before dawn.

The sex became less awkward and more passionate as time went by. Sometimes they failed to stop even after Bo had completely healed. Sometime her injuries were not that so fatal in the first place.

But they never talked about it.

As close as they were in bed physically, they never speak to each other in public.

Tamsin still saw Bo in the Dal's, almost everyday.

Sometimes she sat at the bar having drinks while chatting with the owner. Sometimes she flirted casually with other guests. Sometimes she sat beside a table with her human pet for rounds of tequila shots.

She looked like she was not in the train wreck mode anymore. She never got so drunk that someone had to drag her out any more. She never tried to charm anyone's pants off in the bar any more.

Sometimes she even joined them for a pool game. She laughed out loud, drank beer and slap Dyson's butt.

Tamsin could still see the pain and loneliness in her eyes, buried deeply inside.

That look hurt her.

When they walked pass by each other, they tried to smile but often ended up with their heads turned away from each other to avoid eye contact.

They never talked in bed either, not when they were totally conscious. It was just hot, steamy, sweaty sex, with screaming, biting, sucking and pinching. Neither of them worried about hurting the other one, or themselves. Tamsin would always find some bite marks or scratch marks on her shoulder, neck or back. She sometimes also felt swollen tissue under and inside her, caused by too much friction during the sex.

She knew that Bo had those too, but a succubus could heal.

Every time, Bo fed off her with absolutely no self control. Sometimes even as a valkyrie she would black out from the feeding. It was pure ecstasy but just too much for her to handle. She could tell how Bo suppressed herself over her human partner. She knew that if Bo didn't control herself on the human, she would have killed her long time ago.

It was not the only thing that she could offer to Bo, that Lauren can't. But it was the only thing that Bo needed from her.

Thought about this every time, the painful pleasure consumed her. It was like when she told Lauren she kissed Bo and Bo didn't even feed off her. She felt a pathetic yet relaxed joy inside her, as if she had something that Lauren didn't.

Now Tamsin had watched Bo long enough, she had finally realized the anger inside her was love, jealousy and pain.

She wanted something from Bo. In fact, she wanted everything from Bo. But she had none. She just had to force herself to hate her. Hate was much easier to deal with than love. And anger helped her to push Bo far away from her, so she would not drown in her unintentional gentleness, like the kisses she laid on her shoulder after sex.

Kenzi confronted her eventually, when she had her busted multiple times.

" Don't you hurt her. I know I'm no fae, but I can still kick your ass." She said.

Tamsin was drinking in Dal when the human came to her and said that to her. She downed a shot of vodka and smiled bitterly at the human.

" Relax." She said, " It's just sex. I am like her dinner."

The human opened her mouth and nodded. Then it was dead silence between them.

_You can only hurt someone who loves you_. Like the absence of Lauren had hurt Bo. Like Bo had hurt Dyson by choosing Lauren. Like Bo had hurt Lauren by feeding on Dyson.

_You just can't hurt someone who hate you, or doesn't give a damn about you._

Sometimes she wondered if Bo gave a damn about her.

Maybe she did, maybe she didn't.

Bo was an excellent lover in bed. Sex with her was always amazing. She would kiss the bite marks on her shoulder after sex, as if she was apologizing. And that was always the sweetest yet most painful moment. Tamsin had to force herself not to dwell into those soft kisses.

But anywhere away from bed, they were not very far from total strangers. They resented each other like enemies. Tamsin knew that if a rock fell on her head, Bo probably would push her away if she was beside her. But that was just because she was Bo. She always offered a helping hand. And she always tried to take care of everyone around her. Tamsin knew if she asked her for something, as much as Bo hated her, she probably would help her anyway, if she could.

That was exactly why she fell for her. Her warmth, her kindness, her gentle soul.

But she never wanted any help, or any favor from her. She just wanted her.

One thing and the only, she couldn't have.


	4. Chapter 4

It was almost mid night when Tamsin got a text from Bo.

_We need to talk. At Dal_. She texted.

Tamsin replied Ok to her, and got dressed.

It was getting warmer an warmer outside. The spring was leaving and the summer was coming. Star magnolia flowers were long gone now. Cherry blossoms occupied everywhere. Only the moon stayed the same. The pale, bright moon, with a hint of red in it.

Tamsin didn't know what Bo wanted to talk about this time, but she decided to go anyway. They never really talked about anything after their last we-need-to-talk talk, and that ended with her screaming _I fucking hate you_ to Bo, and Bo left without saying anything.

She walked into the bar. It was very late, most guests were already gone. Few drunk dudes passed out on the table snoring.

Tamsin immediately saw Bo sitting behind the bar with a drink in her hand and a bottle near her. The dim light rendered her face as if it was not real.

" So, you want to talk." Tamsin walked to her, " Well, talk."

Bo looked at her, but she didn't say anything. Instead she downed herself a drink and offered Tamsin one.

" Can't, driving. What do you want to talk about?" Tamsin sat down beside her, pulling a reasonable distance between them, not too close to be awkward, but close enough to smell her perfume.

Bo finished a shot, and said:" So, I've been thinking..."

" Ok...?" Tamsin watched her downed another drink, and waiting for her to finish her sentence. She could see the look on her face. The succubus was hesitating, like she didn't know if she should say it.

" If you're not talking, I'm leaving." Tamsin said. She was not comfortable of being this close to her outside the bed.

" Ok. Can I ask you something?" Bo took a deep breath, and finally spoke up.

" Shoot." Tamsin rolled her eyes.

" Just wondering, why did you -"

But before she could finish what she was saying, her eyes went wide open. She looked behind Tamsin and gasped.

Tamsin was confused. She turned around and saw Lauren, who broke up with Bo and left without saying why or where. And now she was back.

" Lauren!" Bo stood up and ran to her, " You are back? You are back! You didn't even call?"

" I know I could find you here, Bo." Lauren hugged Bo, " Babe, I'm back."

" I'm so glad, honey." Bo hugged her back.

They were laughing, crying and hugging. Tamsin looked at them till she realized that if she stayed here one second longer her tears would fall. She sighed and turned around, walking towards the exit.

" Wait!" Bo stopped her. But she didn't say anything. Apparently whatever she wanted to say, she didn't want to say it in front of Lauren.

Tamsin realized it. She clenched her lips, then smirked. " No worries. We'll talk about the case some time later."

She wanted to say something that could piss off Lauren, or Bo, or both of them, like she always did. But she knew that she had to leave right now, so she made it sounded like she and Bo were talking about a case.

Bo nodded and smiled to her. She looked relieved.

Tamsin walked out slowly. She could hear the happy laughter from behind.

In fact, she didn't have to hear anything to know the succubus was happy right now. She saw the look on her face when she saw Lauren.

The woman she loved was back to be with her again.

Tamsin let out a deep breath outside the Dal.

Tamsin didn't expect that they would ever have that talk again, and she was right. They never had the talk after that day. She didn't bring it up, neither did Bo. She had a feeling that whatever it was she wanted to talk about that day, did not matter to her anymore.

The sex-feeding between them stopped after Lauren came back too. She was not surprised. Bo had her lover with her now, and she was happy. She no longer needed anything from Tamsin anymore.

It just hurt. It hurt so bad that bottles of vodka couldn't drown it, that shots of tequila couldn't kill it, that rounds of whiskey couldn't overcome it.


	5. Chapter 5

Days later Tamsin had a bar fight with some random guys in the Dal. She had too much drinks and those guys were just annoying. She smashed a chair to one of them, and they fought back. She kicked their asses, but she herself was in shit too. They fled. She walked out and sat beside the backdoor to get some air.

She could taste the blood in her mouth, like the taste of water from a rusty pipe. She felt the pain from the injuries, hurting like shit. It masked the pain inside her.

That was all she wanted.

She sighed and raised her head. It was full moon again. It was already early summer. The night breeze was warm, and the moon was not that cold anymore.

Then she heard Bo's voice from behind.

" Tamsin?" Bo walked in front of her and asked, " What happened?"

" Bar fight, what does it look like?" Tamsin rolled her eyes and spit out some blood.

" I'll call Lauren."

" Not everyone needs her, you know." Tamsin smirked, " And it's just a bad, bad idea to call your girlfriend to take care of your fuck buddy."

" Well you are not Dyson. And we haven't...since she's back. She'll be ok with it."

" Really?" Tamsin stood up, with one hand pressing the wound on her chest, " She was not that ok when I told her about our kiss in Brazenwood."

" What?"

" Ah, it was such fun to watch her freaking out." Tamsin smiled, " When I told her you didn't even feed off me, she was so hurt. It was just so hilarious..."

Then she felt a sudden pain on her face.

Bo slapped her.

" Well, I guess I deserve that." Tamsin licked her lips and sneered.

Bo realized that she overacted, but she didn't apologize. She hesitated for a while, then said:" You really need to go see a doctor."

" I just need some vodka and I'll be fine." Tamsin tried to walk but she almost tripped. Bo grabbed her arm to support her, but she struggled to free herself from her. " Don't you have a girlfriend to go to?"

" Tamsin." Bo said, " At least let me help." Seeing Tamsin like this, she felt guilty of slapping her.

" No need. I don't want a damn thing from you." Tamsin said, and she walked away. She could still sense the succubus standing behind her. She forced herself not to look at her.

She lied. She wanted everything from her. She just couldn't have any.

* * *

Watching Tamsin disappeared, Bo went back inside. She sat beside the bar and poured herself a drink.

" You have something on your mind?" Trick asked her when cleaning the glasses. He noticed the look on Bo's face.

Bo shook her head, then she nodded.

" What's the matter kid?"

" I don't know." Bo finished two shots in a row.

She sat there for a while in silence, then she murmured:" God I hate her."

" Who? Lauren?" Trick was confused.

" She's such a bossy, mean bitch. And her attitude... Damn! Why am I even talking about her right now!"

" Ok, I'm guessing you are not talking about Lauren then. Who are you talking about?"

" No one." Bo rolled her eyes.

" What's wrong?"

" Nothing." Bo said, " I just hate her, hate her."

" Why do you hate her? And who is she?" Trick was really confused.

But apparently Bo was not listening to him. She squeezed the shot glass hard as if she wanted to break with her bare hand. She murmured:" She's just so...God I wish I could just..."

" Well, if you can't find a real reason, maybe you don't hate her."

" What? What do you mean?"

" Maybe you forced yourself to hate her, so you don't have to deal with your true feelings for her."

" No! I don't have any feelings for her. God, no!" Bo said.

" Bo, hate is a very strong emotional reaction. You got to have a real reason. Otherwise it's probably not hate."

" I can tell if I really hate someone ok, grandpa." Bo rolled her eyes again, and downed another drink.

" If you insist." Trick shrugged, and walked to the other side to attend other guests.

Bo just sat there in trance. _So why do I hate her? Because she hates me?_ She asked herself. Then she realized that she had never thought about this before.

Bo thought Tamsin hated her for sure. The resentment was practically written all over her face every time they saw each other. She never stopped trying to nail her ass to the killing case. And she enjoyed every moment she had to twist her arms or to pin her to the wall. She also knew exactly what to say and how to say it to piss her off.

But every time she needed someone, Tamsin was always there. She was the one who freed her and helped her to find Kenzi when no one believed her. She was the one who warned her about the dawning when no one else told her. She was the one who accompanied her to Brazenwood even if she said she'd never go there. She was the one who let her feed whenever she needed to demanding nothing as return. Bo knew how painful it could be to be fed on by a succubus. She also knew that she never held back when feeding from Tamsin. But Tamsin always showed up when she texted her. Unlike Lauren or Dyson, Tamsin never asked for anything from her. She never needed anything from her.

Bo thought she hated Tamsin too. But strangely, she never felt any hatred for her in bed. When the valkyrie was all turned on and vulnerable under her in bed, with her suppressed moans, her blushed face, and her voice begging for more, it just felt totally different. Sex with her was always unbelievably amazing, although Bo never wanted to admit. She found herself very easily losing control when with her in bed.

Seeing her injured like that, Bo was really concerned. She felt her chest ached when she saw her sitting at the backdoor with blood on her face. Not just because of the injuries, but also the painful look in her eyes. That look had made her hard to breath. It reminded her sometimes she saw the same look in her eyes after they had sex, like she wanted something so desperately but she just couldn't have any. She chose to ignore it on purpose, but it just kept coming back to her.

She never really realized that she cared about her this much.

After few drinks, Bo decided to pay Tamsin a visit.

She just wanted to know if she was ok.


	6. Chapter 6

Bo went to Tamsin's apartment. She had hesitated for a while outside, wondering if the valkyrie was already asleep since it had already passed mid night. But eventually she knocked the door. Seconds later, the door opened.

" What is everyone's favorite succubus doing here?" Tamsin leaned on the door and asked with a sarcastic tone. Bo could see the bruises on her face under the bright light, and the fact that she was totally wasted.

Bo held up the first aid kit in her hand.

" You just can't help saving everyone around you, can you?" Tamsin walked back to the couch and lied down. She left the door open.

" Not everyone, just you tonight." Bo said.

Tamsin rolled her eyes. Bo sat down beside her. For a moment neither of them had said anything.

" Are you going to take off your clothes so I can take a look?" Eventually Bo asked.

" Well since you are here to save me, why don't you just strip me?" Tamsin smirked.

" Ok, fine." Bo said loudly. She put down the things in her hands and started to unbutton the blonde's shirt.

Soon both of them realized that it was such a bad idea. It was already awkward enough when Bo had laid her fingers on Tamsin's shirt, causing the blonde holding her breath. By the time Bo had taken off her shirt, both of them blushed.

Neither of them could breathe. Memories of them in bed flashed through vividly, how they pressing their naked bodies against each other, how they kiss each other and thrust each other, how they orgasmed under each other.

Bo swallowed hard and cleared her throat. She tried not to stare at her breasts wrapped in her black bra. She laid a finger on her wound just below her bra. It looked serious. Tamsin gasped when she touched it.

" Sorry." Bo gently rubbed some alcohol on it, then she put a pad on.

" No worries. Valkyries are tough. Besides, maybe I prefer pain."

Bo rolled her eyes at her and checked the bruises on her waist and her arm. Then she moved down to take off her jeans. She stopped when she saw her beautiful legs. Bo paused there, couldn't stop picturing how those legs wrapped around her waist in her head. She shook her head and took care of the wounds on her knees.

She never realized that this valkyrie had such an influence on her until now.

" Like what you see?" Tamsin teased her. Seeing Bo like this plus the amount of the alcohol she had, she suddenly felt relaxed. She smiled mischievously and leaned over to press her lips on Bo's.

It was a childish joke. She thought Bo would freeze and push her away and then she could laugh at her. Then this awkward moment would just go away.

Bo did freeze, but she didn't push her away. Instead, after the first few seconds of startle, she grabbed her arms and kissed her back. It was a wet, soft and passionate kiss. The succubus' lips gently touched hers, with her tongue slowly running on her lower lip. Bo felt aroused like crazy. She tasted alcohol, blood and Tamsin's lipstick, and that taste just sent a stream of heat right through her body. She couldn't even tell whether it was her hunger, or something else. Seconds later they were already grinding their bodies together, with their hands running over every inch of the skin on each other's body.

Rational senses came back to Bo when she realized that she was pressing on the gauze pad. She stopped the kiss and pulled back.

" Shit, I'm sorry." She looked at the wound to make sure it was not bleeding again.

" For hurting me? Or for kissing someone other than your girlfriend?"

" Can we not bring Lauren in this conversation please!" Bo felt frustrated and irritated. She knew that she had just about tons of problems with Lauren already. Although Lauren was back and they were back together, she could feel something was not right. It was like there was something in between them, but neither of them wanted to talk about it. They still dated, had sex, and had dinner together. They still called each other babe and honey. But Bo didn't even know if Lauren still loved her, or more importantly, if she still loved Lauren. She couldn't tell if they got back together because they were still in love, or just because they couldn't handle the fact that they weren't anymore. Both of them tried so hard on keeping up with or making up to each other, too hard that sometimes she hoped she could just run away. And she could tell Lauren felt the same. She knew that there were problems between them that they could never work out. Her sexual needs for example. The relationship between them had grown into a burden before she even noticed.

Now there was Tamsin, whom she couldn't even figure out how she really felt about. She felt something between them when Lauren was gone, but she didn't know what it was. She finally made up her mind to talk about it, but the same night Lauren came back. She thought everything would just go back to normal, but it did not. She wasn't even aware that she longed for this valkyrie this much until right this minute. More importantly, it was not so much because she was half naked, but mostly because she was so vulnerable and frail right now.

" Well. You've saved me tonight. You can go now." Seeing her in silence, Tamsin said.

" Put your clothes back on." Bo said, " Or you need a blanket?"

" Neither." Tamsin sneered," Why? You can't control your hunger over a half naked valkyrie?"

" I think I can handle myself on not feeding off an injured, thank you."

" You are afraid you will suck me dry?" Tamsin said," Well then you realize that you are putting her life in danger everyday right?"

" Again! No Lauren please. And why should I even discuss my sex life with you, seriously!" Bo said.

" Because the only thing you and I ever had was sex?"

" No, God! Sex is not the only thing we have between us!"

" What else do we have then? Rage? Hatred? Disgust?"

" No!" Bo said, " Maybe you really hate me, but I don't hate you, Tamsin. In fact, I think...I think I really care about you. I can't believe I am saying this but... I don't want to see you hurt yourself like this ever again."

Bo suddenly felt the burden in her chest had just disappeared, as if she had finally said something that she should have long time ago.

Tamsin felt her heart had just stopped when she heard that. She did not say anything, because she didn't know how to respond. She felt the painful pleasure running through her body. She felt that her tears are welling in her eyes. She had to turn her head away from Bo.

Silence filled the room. Neither of them talked. Bo just sat beside her and looked at her.

" I don't hate you, Bo, I never hated you." After a while, Tamsin murmured. Even she herself could barely hear it.

_I love you_. She said it in her heart.

Bo wanted to say something, but she couldn't find the right words. She stood up and said:" Ok, well, I think it's time for me to leave."

" Ok." Tamsin smiled to her. For the first time, she wasn't saying anything sarcastically, or bitterly, to her. She was just simply agreeing with her.

" Just stay away from bar fights for at least a week ok?" Bo said to her before she walked out.

Tamsin heard the door closed. She couldn't hold her tears anymore.

_I think I really care about you_.

It was more than what she had ever hoped for.

* * *

**A/N: Few people were asking where the hurt/comfort part is, hope you guys enjoys this chapter! This is also my favorite chapter in this story. Although I think Tamsin was not bitchy enough in this chapter. Wonder how you guys think about it?**

**P.S. Has everyone watched the newest episode? I was so moved by the bathtub scene in the latest Lost Girl episode. **


	7. Chapter 7

Things had changed between Tamsin and Bo after that day. They started to have some casual conversations in public. They no longer pissed each other off intentionally. They could smile to each other when they met.

Sometimes they even sat down at the same table and had drinks together, like friends.

Even Dyson had noticed that. He teased about the no-longer-hostile relationship between them, saying that Tamsin had finally fallen into Bo's succubus' charm.

Knowing that Bo cared about her, was more than enough to Tamsin.

Although sometimes she still noticed the painful look in Bo's eyes, even when she was with Lauren. Sometimes when she was shooting pool with Dyson, Bo would turn around and looked at her, when she was sitting at the bar with Lauren or Kenzi. She felt like the succubus wanted to say something to her. But she never did.

Other times when the succubus was alone, she drank a lot without saying anything. Sometimes Tamsin drank with her. There was no conversation, other than _bring me the bottle_ or _another shot_.

Tamsin couldn't figure out why Bo was so sad. She thought getting back with Lauren should have made her happy. Not that she was not aware there were tons of problems between a succubus and a human, but she thought Bo would make it work.

She knew it was totally not her business to worry. She wanted to ask her, but she didn't even know where to start. So she never asked.

* * *

Trick had noticed that Bo had something on her mind for days. He saw her sitting at the bar alone, with a drink in her hand but not drinking. He heard her sigh.

" What's wrong, kid?" He had to ask.

" Nothing. Everything's great."

" Then why are you sitting here like this? Something happened between you and Lauren?"

" No, well, yes, well, no." Bo lowered her chin on the counter, frustrated, " I don't know."

" Ok, take you time then. You'll figure it out." Trick was used to this type of conversation with Bo lately. He knew that there was something on her mind, something important. She just had not figured it out yet. So he decided not to bother her anymore. He went to attend other guests, but Bo stopped him.

" Hey, can I ask you something?"

" Sure, anything. You can ask me anything, Bo."

" Do you think...emmm... one person can love two different people at the same time?"

" Yes, absolutely, like I love you and your grandmother."

" No, I mean in love with. You know."

" No, absolutely not. Either you love one of them, or you love neither." Trick smelt something wrong, " Are you talking about Lauren and Dyson?"

" No, no! I don't love Dyson anymore, I'm sure of it."

" Well who else then? I thought you and Lauren were doing well."

" I thought so too. I thought I'd be just happy right now, since she's back."

" But you are not?"

" I am. I am happy. It's just..."

" Just what?"

" You know what, forget about everything I just said. Just give me a bottle of your strongest vodka."

" Since when do you drink vodka? You picked that up from Tamsin?"

Heard that name, Bo growled. It was just the last person she wanted to think about right now.

She found herself constantly thinking about the valkyrie. She found herself looking at her whenever the blonde was in the same room with her. Sometimes she found herself sitting in Dal expecting Tamsin to show up. Sometimes she even found herself waking up in the middle of the night and thinking about her. She knew for sure that was not because of her hunger, because she was not thinking about the sex. She just woke up in the darkness, thinking about her.

It was all the subtle things that she kept thinking about her. The taste of her lipstick. The smell of her perfume. How her blue eyes shined in the moonlight. How her hair locks fell on her shoulder when she lowered her head. How her fingers caressed the shot glass when she drank. How she frowned when she was thinking about something. How she smirked when she kicked Dyson's ass in the pool game.

The warm night breeze constantly reminded her how cold the night was when they first had sex. Bo knew she herself was totally wasted and heart broken that day. But she still remembered everything. The moonlight, the flowers, the dark blue sky. The painful look in Tamsin's eyes. It made her heart ache, as if it was filled with painful tears. But at the same time, it had warmed her.

The great frustration just drowned Bo because the first time in her life she didn't know what to do.


	8. Chapter 8

It was weeks later when Tamsin got a text from Bo.

_I need you_.

Tamsin was surprised, because Bo had not called for feeding since Lauren was back.

Tamsin went to Bo's place. She thought Bo was probably seriously injured. She was picturing Bo covered in blood, or unconscious, or lying on the floor on her way there.

But to her surprise, Bo was sitting on the couch with bottles of alcohol on the coffee table in front of her. She looked totally fine.

" So you are not dying." Tamsin stood in front of her, with her arms around her chest.

" I am dying, inside." Bo said.

" Internal bleeding? Poisoning?" Tamsin was confused.

" You could say that." Bo nodded and giggled. Apparently she was at least half drunk already," Me and Lauren broke up."

" That was why you texted me? Relationship problem? Damn, I thought you needed to feed!"

" Why don't you just sit down and help yourself with some drinks. Drinks are all on me tonight."

Tamsin sighed, then she sat down beside Bo and poured herself some vodka.

" So, what can I do for you today, succubus?"

" Well, first, make sure I get extremely drunk." Bo giggled again with her drunk voice," Which shouldn't be hard 'cause I'm already half way there."

" Yeah, I can see that. Why can't you just pick one! The doc, or the wolf."

" No, no wolves." Bo shook her head, " I don't love Dyson, not anymore, that I am sure."

" Then problem solved! Go for the doctor! Pull your succubus charm on her. Make her stay. I can't believe I'm sitting here listening to your bullshit."

" No, I'm not getting back with Lauren. Can't say that I am totally over it, but I don't think I am in love with her anymore." Bo grabbed another bottle. This time she skipped the shot glasses and drank directly from the bottle.

Neither of them had said anything for a while. Both of them were just drinking. Then Bo took a deep breath, and said:" I think I'm in love with someone else. Someone I just couldn't..."

" Oh." Tamsin said. She felt something heavy just dropped on her heart. She couldn't breath. She had to drink two shots of vodka in a row so she could talk again.

She gasped hard and said:" Then go get it, I mean, him, or her, for the love of the Gods. You are a succubus! You can just get anyone you want."

Bo did not say anything. She took a swig from the bottle, then leaned over and kissed Tamsin.

" Ok, I think I've just completed my mission today. You're totally drunk." Tamsin pushed her away, " Do you even know what you are doing right now?"

" Absolutely yes. I am kissing you. I, am, kissing, you." Bo chuckled, " Me, Bo, kissing you, Tamsin..."

Bo sat there giggled for a while. Then she leaned over and kissed Tamsin again. This time much harder. She threw away the bottle in her hand and cupped her face. Tamsin melted in the kiss in seconds. With the sweet, intoxicating taste on Bo's lips mixed with the taste of vodka, she felt her mind just got wiped out. She laid her hands on the succubus' waist to support her. Bo leaned back to the couch and Tamsin followed while their lips are still together. Bo tapped her tongue on Tamsin's lips, then her tongue.

Tamsin slid her hands under Bo's tank top, as she had done hundreds of times before. She ran her hand across her waist and stopped on her lower back. With her index finger she drew circles over and over again. She knew Bo loved this. And the moans from Bo confirmed it.

Bo ripped Tamsin's shirt open. She didn't even bother to unbutton it. She unhooked her bra and threw it across the room. She cupped her breasts and kissed them. It was Tamsin's turn to moan. She gasped and let out a loud scream when Bo's tongue slid across her nipples.

The couch was narrow and uncomfortable, but Bo still managed to roll over on top of Tamsin. One of her hand was already in Tamsin's underwear. And Tamsin couldn't even recall when exactly she had pulled her jeans off.

Bo caressed her clit, slowly. Tamsin moved her hip with her to get more pleasure. It didn't take long for her to reach her orgasm. Then she reached it again with Bo's fingers inside her. She could hear herself screaming. She wanted to stop screaming but she couldn't. She felt her legs shaking. She reached her hand out trying to grab something, and knocked over the lamp.

They both stopped, then they giggled. Tamsin pressed her lips on Bo's collarbone. She kissed her playfully, with a lot of soft sucking and tongue licking. She knew that was another sensitive spot of Bo's. Seconds later she felt the brunette melted in her arms with moans escaping from her throat.

She rolled over on top of the succubus, and moved down her kisses. Finally she had reached her core. She circled her tongue around her clit till Bo dug her finger nails into her shoulder and let out few very loud moans.

She thrust her with her fingers. The succubus wrapped her fingers inside tightly. Tamsin knew exactly how the succubus wanted it, and she had no intention to hold back. She just kept thrusting her, till Bo bit her shoulder hard as always when her orgasm came.

They both collapsed on the couch with their bodies tightly pressed together.

" That was amazing." Bo said soberly. She had healed from the alcohol poisoning by feeding.

" Can't say that I don't feel the same." Tamsin said, " Although, you are such a biter."

" Sorry." Bo kissed the bite mark on her shoulder as she always did, " I just can't control myself over you."

" I'm flattered." Tamsin smerked and sat up, " Well, you're sober now, why don't you just sort your shit out with your human pet or something. I'm going home."

" Tamsin." Bo laid her hand on her wrist.

Tamsin turned around and looked at Bo with her eyebrows raised.

" Can you stay here tonight?"

Tamsin paused. Bo had never asked her to stay overnight before. She knew how badly she wanted to be with her, but she also knew how bad this idea was going to be. She sighed and said:" Look, Bo, I really suck at this comforting shit..."

But Bo was not listening. She grabbed her hand and dragged her to her bedroom. " Pick your side of the bed, you can wear my kimono." She said.

" Shit! Fine, some rules first then. No girl talk, no tears. And if you start talking about your feelings at anytime, I'm leaving." Tamsin rolled her eyes and took her kimono.

Bo lied down beside her. But she didn't turn off the light. They were both awkwardly quiet. They stared at the ceiling instead of each other. They adjusted their positions so they could feel more comfortable without touching the other person. They lied there for hours, fully conscious.

Eventually, they turned around and faced each other.

It didn't take long for Bo to press her lips on Tamsin's. She kissed her with her fingers running on her face and hair. It was a soft kiss. Not so much as a foreplay of sex, but with a lot of affection. Bo pulled back for some air after few minutes. While she was gasping, she ran her thumb on Tamsin's lips slowly. Then she kissed her again, as if she couldn't get enough of it. Tamsin kissed her back until she realized it was just way too intimate for her to handle. She pulled back and sat up.

" I can't." As sweet as it was, Tamsin knew she couldn't handle this much affection. She tried so hard to control herself not to fall for her unintentional gentleness. One more soft kiss from Bo and she would just be damned. " I should leave."

" What?" Bo was confused, " You are leaving?"

" Yeah." Tamsin said.

" Why? Something's wrong?"

" No, nothing is wrong. It's just... I can't do this shit with you."

" Why?"

" Damn it, Bo! You really don't know, or you just want me to say it out loud?" Tamsin stood up and stared at Bo, " I love you, Bo, I'm in love you. But I don't want to be like Lauren, or Dyson, or whoever else with the sad puppy eyes begging for your love! I am already too close to you! If I get one step closer, I'll just... "

She couldn't finish her talk. She took a deep breath and picked up her pants from the floor.

Bo was startled. Then she said:" Oh."

Silence consumed them. Tamsin pulled up her pants. Then she bent over and picked up her bra.

" I should go." Tamsin said. She felt like she had finally opened the closet and faced the monster inside. But strangely, she felt relieved and relaxed. She knew she wouldn't have to disguise it with anger or hate anymore. She just had no idea how she would face Bo after today.

" So you kissed me in Brazenwood, because you love me." Bo said.

" Damn it, yes! I can't believe you just asked! Fuck, you tell me, why else would one person kiss another?" Tamsin said. She found her shirt on the floor, missing few buttons but she could still wear it.

Tamsin had finally got dressed. She took a deep breath, and started to walk to the door. But Bo stopped her before she walked out.

" Then you do know why I just kissed you, right?"

Tamsin froze when she realized what Bo was talking about. She bit her lips hard, then she said:" It's different. You just broke up with Lauren and you needed some comfort..."

" No, it's not." Bo said. She let out a deep breath, and continued:" I broke up with her because I think I'm in love with you."

The words hit Tamsin like an arrow right through her heart. At first she thought it was unreal. But then she saw the look on Bo's face so she knew what she heard was true. The painful pleasure drowned her like flood. It had suffocated her. She couldn't breath. It was so agonizing yet so amazing that she couldn't stop trembling. She closed her eyes so her tears wouldn't fall. She just stood there, without moving, or talking.

Bo hugged her from behind. She put her arms around her waist, and her face on her back. Tamsin could feel the succubus shivering behind her. She laid her hands on Bo's hands. She hesitated for a while, then she intertwined her fingers with Bo's. Bo moved her hands a little so they could hold tighter. They stood there for a while, then Bo finally had turned Tamsin around and laid her lips on hers again.

Pain and pleasure were the same thing, after all.

Just like hate and love.

The End

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for all the support on this story. I didn't really expect some many people liked it. And thanks for all the reviewers! **

**I was originally planning on ending the story at where Bo told Tamsin that she really cared about her, because it seemed closer to how the TV show had portrayed their relationship. **

**But then I figured since this was fanfiction, why not just do more valkubus. So I added two chapters that they eventually told each other " I am in love with you." This is how I pictured if any day they discussed their feelings towards each other, how the things would go between them. Hope everyone enjoy the story!**

**So far I think I'm going to focus on writing _The Tempest_. I was so moved by the bathtub scene, that I decided I should wait for the season ender to see what happens between them, then I probably would go ahead and start a new story following whatever the story is in the season ender. No matter what happens in the season ender, I'll still ship valkubus and write valkubus stories!**

**Thanks again for all the support!**


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